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Xerxes (Histories)

from Great Book Songs: Volume 1 by Andy Metz

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lyrics

Intro
Yo, what up class?

It's time for your history lesson,
Now, begin.

Chorus

Let me tell you 'bout a man named Xerxes,

Led five million into Greece,

Had some dreams he couldn't believe,

Left his men and chose to retreat,

Tell a tale no one believes,

And label it as histories.

Verse

Now let me tell you 'bout the leader of five million Persian,

Who worship their king how I bring in the version,

Excursion to Athens to fight with a passion,

You asking how they lose? Well, you're passing the action,

Now take a step backwards, forget those last words,

We're only starting yet departing from the first third,

Yes, he's like a bird, fly-flying away,

Remembers marching in charge just yesterday,

I'll tell the story of when Pytheas met X,

The second richest man and is able to collect,

He started off well enough, yet downhill from there,

Asked for the release of his son, so unaware,

Hey, Xerxes is in control, look at his last toll,

He takes the son and cuts him in half whole,

Then leads the army between the two halves so,

Py gets the message: the X is an asshole!



Chorus

Let me tell you 'bout a man named Xerxes,

Led five million into Greece,

Had some dreams he couldn't believe,

Left his men and chose to retreat,

Tell a tale no one believes,

And label it as histories.



Verse
Now Xerxes, what the hell is going on?

You seem to have an attitude prob-a-lem,

Okay, you got power, but how are you using it?

If I didn't know better, I'd say you're abusing it,

Who whips a fuckin' river? Come on now, honestly,

Admitting your faults in a step to honesty,

Ya haunted, see, by dreams you can't believe,

You can't conceive ever having to leave,

Cause you got five million,

Loyal Persians on your side,

Not including eunuchs,

Female cooks or concubines,

I gotta tell ya, how'd you run away?

If you knew how to lead, you'd be able to stay,

But Xerxes, you're so A-D-D,

Don't stop mid-march to decorate a fuckin' tree, now.



Chorus

Let me tell you 'bout a man named Xerxes,

Led five million into Greece,

Had some dreams he couldn't believe,

Left his men and chose to retreat,

Tell a tale no one believes,

And label it as histories.

x 2



Bridge

We ain't gonna forget about the other characters of the Histories,

Yo Gyges, it's your birthday,

You got a hot wife, and it's her birthday,

Yo Cyrus, it's your birthday,

Youz a Persian, but it's your birthday,

Yo Harpagus, it's your birthday,

And you were served your son on your birthday,

Yo Mardonius, it's your birthday,

You in charge now, so it's your birthday.

credits

from Great Book Songs: Volume 1, released November 1, 2003

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Andy Metz Chicago, Illinois

Seattle-born, Chicago-built, and Oakland-based musician, Andy Metz has spent over half his life recording songs that range from earnest to irreverent.

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